I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
