what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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