You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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