Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
