Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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