2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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