He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
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I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
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Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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