I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
