did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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