I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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