my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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