I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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