Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
