Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
