You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
