I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
