I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
