Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize