youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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