I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
