Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need help removing her.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
