jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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