So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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