the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she pinky promised me she was 18
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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