gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize