so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
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Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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