Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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