So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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