I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize