I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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