you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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