yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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