Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
