i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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