i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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