If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I need water and some morals
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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