It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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