Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
