At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
