I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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