the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he puts the penis in happiness.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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