Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
