I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
