Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My penis needs a shock collar
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
