Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
