On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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