The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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