I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
