HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
