everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
