I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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