all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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