Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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