I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
