Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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