Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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