Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
