too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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