i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
