Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
