all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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