We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
