Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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