Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize