I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
